Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Chicago Tribune--a review

I've been getting the Chicago Tribune delivered daily to my door since Christmas (thanks Mom). People LOVE to talk trash about the Trib and what a crap-tastick paper it it used to be good, etc. One woman went on strike, wrote them a condescending letter as she canceled her subscription to a newspaper she thought had turned to drivel...which reminds me of my great aunt who complained horribly when the New Yorker Magazine started having fiction that featured sex, and then gasp, when they put ads in the paper. Maybe because of my age and fact that I've been raised in a culture/come to expect everything covered in a thin veil of sex and/or product advertisement.

At one dinner party (not that I go to many dinner parties, but this is the kind of thing you're supposed to say at such events) an arrogant liberal yatcher began to wax on the weakness of the Trib; joking that their headlines read something like: Fall Hats! Where to Find Cheap Hats. He then proceeded to say that Philadelphia's newspaper was by far superior.

"well then go back to Philadelphia!" I wanted to yell as I pushed him, "I enjoy articles on where to buy hats!"

I do like getting the newspaper...and I hate having to be embarrassed that my favorite sections are often termed "style" or as my Dad once told me on one sad Sunday morning with the Washington Post, "They used to call that, the Woman's Section"

Damn, they got me again; just like when I get a free moment alone with a cable television and remote and find myself drifted to the Oxygen channel. When the little station tag pops up I want to kick myself...woman stuff is inherently lame...I must fight my natural lameness/womaness.

Woa! Where did that come from? woman=lame

Probably a couple of waves: patriarchy, followed by sexism, followed by reactionary sexism (aka feminism).

I don't have my writing muscles strong enough to tackle this topic further. So I will go to what is much easier, a review of others reviews/cutting&pasting.


"Sign of the Times: Please Hire Me Elmo
'The recession is hitting even the nicest street on TV. Workshop, the non-profit educational 'producer, has announced it is reducing its staff by 20%. Some of the other changes we expect:
-the letter "M" will double as the letter "W" and "E"
-Big Bird becomes Medium Bird
-Sesame Street grocery reopens as dollar store
-dead muppets to be buried in a potter's field
-Cookie Monster renamed Ramen-Noodles-and-Saltines monster
-Grover returned to the wild
-Ernie and Bert take a third roommate
-martial law"

[section 1, page 3]

"10 Things You Might Not Know about the Color Green:
#4when military helicopter pilots use night vision goggles, they travel through a world that glows green. Little wonder that they sometimes say they are flying through "green air".
#7 only 3% of americans consider green their favorite car color.
#10Research in December revealed that mens faces are more red and womens faces are more green. The study was done at brown university."
[section 1, page 29]

'news' that sounds like it came from Jon Stewart.