The Secretaries
What has she been doing? Where has she disappeared to on the internet?
I've been spending all my internet time on myspace.com/cultofsecretaries. Trying to make it look cool and trying to get as many influential friends as possible. I almost fell out of my chair when I figured that I could change the background with HTML. Even though you can't read anything about us because of the lumber-esque background--I feel like a computer god.
Feeling like a god is good because lately I've felt impotent, stupid, and disoriented. I blame most of this on the 20 year old drama students in our cast. They have never heard of Pabst, to say they don't drink is putting it lightly. They think that smoking pot is exactly the same as taking PCP; coffee gives them the shakes. As I said before I seldom trust people who aren't addicted to anything.
They like to do things like sing songs from musicals, make jokes about asking hot guys out (and then never do it), and go tricker-treating. It is not that I think all theater students are lame, my problem with them is that I happen to know that people like my sisters are really NOT lame, so what gives? They keep telling me things like "you need to make choices with this line" or "I think you need to think about what that word means to your character." We are directing the play collaboratively so when I suggest crazy things like, "why don't we jump into the audience and spray them with blood? or do the whole play with our back to the audience? or instead of choreographing this why don't we really fight and hit each other in that section?" They keep shooting me down wishing to remain true to the tenants of theatrical tradition.
more on them later
To prove that I really am consumed by The Secretaries I'll tell you about the trip Rebecca and I took to Victoria Secret. The play is set in 1994, and the women are crazy about Victoria Secret. There is a scene where the boss puts her hand down my dress and talks about how great my bra is. I figured A. I had better own a bra B. I should try to get one at Victoria secret.
I asked Rebecca to go with me for moral support. The sales woman was super excited to help us. She told us all about bras in the early nineties, the new technologies, seams, colors, shapes, etc. She offered to measure me...the main reason I don't wear bras. She tried to make me feel better by saying I was 34b. I was like, "give me all the padding you can, I want my breasts pressed up to my chin." Turns out Victoria Secret doesn't do that, and they get offended if you use the word 'wonderbra' (it's another company all together). I paraded around the store in a bra and jeans trying to get used to it for the play. When I realized I would be spending over $50 for a bra that was going to get covered in fake blood and I would never even want to wear even under a shirt, I put them all back on their hangers, put my shirt on and left.
When not out and about I'm sitting in my house saying my lines out loud. Things like "we all come in different shapes and sizes" or "I think that blazer looks really neato" or "She's just so pretty"...my character is the lame one with lines that reflect such. Don't worry the play is awesome and totally worth all this time.
I've been spending all my internet time on myspace.com/cultofsecretaries. Trying to make it look cool and trying to get as many influential friends as possible. I almost fell out of my chair when I figured that I could change the background with HTML. Even though you can't read anything about us because of the lumber-esque background--I feel like a computer god.
Feeling like a god is good because lately I've felt impotent, stupid, and disoriented. I blame most of this on the 20 year old drama students in our cast. They have never heard of Pabst, to say they don't drink is putting it lightly. They think that smoking pot is exactly the same as taking PCP; coffee gives them the shakes. As I said before I seldom trust people who aren't addicted to anything.
They like to do things like sing songs from musicals, make jokes about asking hot guys out (and then never do it), and go tricker-treating. It is not that I think all theater students are lame, my problem with them is that I happen to know that people like my sisters are really NOT lame, so what gives? They keep telling me things like "you need to make choices with this line" or "I think you need to think about what that word means to your character." We are directing the play collaboratively so when I suggest crazy things like, "why don't we jump into the audience and spray them with blood? or do the whole play with our back to the audience? or instead of choreographing this why don't we really fight and hit each other in that section?" They keep shooting me down wishing to remain true to the tenants of theatrical tradition.
more on them later
To prove that I really am consumed by The Secretaries I'll tell you about the trip Rebecca and I took to Victoria Secret. The play is set in 1994, and the women are crazy about Victoria Secret. There is a scene where the boss puts her hand down my dress and talks about how great my bra is. I figured A. I had better own a bra B. I should try to get one at Victoria secret.
I asked Rebecca to go with me for moral support. The sales woman was super excited to help us. She told us all about bras in the early nineties, the new technologies, seams, colors, shapes, etc. She offered to measure me...the main reason I don't wear bras. She tried to make me feel better by saying I was 34b. I was like, "give me all the padding you can, I want my breasts pressed up to my chin." Turns out Victoria Secret doesn't do that, and they get offended if you use the word 'wonderbra' (it's another company all together). I paraded around the store in a bra and jeans trying to get used to it for the play. When I realized I would be spending over $50 for a bra that was going to get covered in fake blood and I would never even want to wear even under a shirt, I put them all back on their hangers, put my shirt on and left.
When not out and about I'm sitting in my house saying my lines out loud. Things like "we all come in different shapes and sizes" or "I think that blazer looks really neato" or "She's just so pretty"...my character is the lame one with lines that reflect such. Don't worry the play is awesome and totally worth all this time.
posted by sarah at 1:38 AM
1 Comments:
I'm the only miller left (out of myspace)
Post a Comment
<< Home